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A white Christmas. #27. A man and a woman were having sex in the middle of the forest at night. At the end of a 10-minute romping session, the man got up and said, 'dang, I wish I carried a flashlight.'. The woman replied, 'Yeah, me too coz you've been banging grass for the past 10 minutes.'. #28.

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28. My manhood is only six inches, but it smells like a foot. —-. 29. A man and his family are staying at a hotel. The man asks the employee at the front desk if the adult channels are disabled. No, it's just regular p*rn, you sick f*ck. —-. 30.

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One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit. — r/smaze381. 6. Two deer walk out of a gay bar. One says to the other, "I can't believe I blew fifty bucks in there.". — r/aloysiusmind. 7.

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There is a cucumber, a pickle, and a p*nis. They are complaining about their lives. The cucumber says, "My life sucks. I'm put in salads, and to top it off, they put ranch on me as well. My life sucks.". The pickle says, "That's nothing compared to my life. I'm put in vinegar and stored away. Boy my life boring. I hate life.".

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Hilarious Jokes for Adults. Here come the longer funny adult jokes! Be careful, with them: Three guys go on a ski trip together. When they get to the ski lodge there aren't enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right side of the bed wakes up and says, "Wow, I had this mad dream I was getting a.

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Apparently, the act of sex can help you burn the same amount of calories as running eight miles, the wife read. The husband wondered how it could run eight miles in merely 30 seconds on earth. The wife kept screaming, "Give it to me! I've become so wet. Give it to me right now!" but the husband refused to give his umbrella.

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20. View more comments. #25. A man walks into an enchanted forest and tries to cut down a talking tree. "You can't cut me down," the tree exclaims, "I'm a talking tree!" The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue." Report.

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Bob rings the doorbell at the house of his friend Marc. Marc's hot wife, Michelle, opens the door, with nothing but a bathrobe on, and tells Bob that Marc is still in the shower. Bob looks at her, thinks long and hard and finally says: "If I give you $200, will you drop your bathrobe? Shocked, Michelle responds "No!".

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Dirty one liners. Life is like toilet paper, you're either on a roll or taking shit from some asshole. One liner tags: dirty, life. 79.91 % / 3506 votes. A man is being arrested by a female police officer, who informs him, "Anything you say can and will be held against you." The man replies, "Boobs!" One liner tags: communication, dirty, men.

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Hahaha They're better at it than guys. 4. A naked man broke into a church. The police chased him around and finally caught him by the organ. Hope this means the naked man was near the organ that's used to play Sunday hymns. 5. I asked my wife why she never blinked during foreplay. She said she didn't have time.

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69 Seriously Dirty Jokes and Memes (That Will Make You Cover Your Eyes) by Eric Russell. - 23 Mar 2022. Sense of Humor. Not every joke needs to be family-friendly or G-rated. Some of those jokes are dirty jokes (never appropriate but) always funny. Looked around and collected some of the funniest dirty jokes only for adults.

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The little girl replies, "Because mommy, everytime you leave in the morning, the lady next door comes over and blows it back up.". Vote: share joke. Joke has 85.31 % from 4056 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex. The elderly Italian man went to his parish priest and asked if the priest would hear his confession.

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Call and tell her about it. A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!" The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!" I'll admit it, I have a tremendous sex drive.

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Faced with such a brilliant response, we have no possible reply. 18. A new hybrid. The curtain opens and a pig is seen making love to a dinosaur. Title of the movie. * "Jurassic Pig". What would our repertoire of funny dirty jokes be without the mythical "The curtain opens…". 19. Dissolvable relationships.

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Pick-Up Lines. Your body is 70 percent water… and I'm thirsty. I love my bed, but I'd rather be in yours. They say that kissing is a language of love, so would you mind starting a conversation with me? I lost my keys… can I check your pants? Let's play carpenter! First, we'll get hammered, then I'll nail you.

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Once you've read through these and find a burning desire to continue, go to www.lotsofjokes.com or grab the "The Friars Club Encyclopedia of Jokes," compiled by H. Aaron Cohl, where you'll find much more on sex jokes as well as other fun topics.